some questions I follow:


Does dividing through 0 give different answers depending on where you come from? Could it be calculated with more context?

How to exist indefinitely and also fulfilling? Do all things come to an end? Lower highs with lows and expect lows to balance them or take them as they come, without any expectations?

How to deal with mistakes, owns and others?

Why and when does change happen and when does it give joy?

Why and when are jumps/leaps happening/possible/helpful/necessary?

Why do some things not seem to be "well defined"? What is lack of work, what lack of time and what lack of definability?

What is undefinable and why does undefinable sometimes give what I am forgettably looking for, giving a partly new experience that is defined?

Why does it sometimes feel like I cant stay "real" with myself or others for as long as I wanted to and why does it sometimes feel like being real has a rational end?

Why/when does it feel like sleep/unconsciousness is surmountable?...


Pure information + equivalents in personal experience

Maths:

Equivalents for e (formula for maximal even, max realistic dimensional growth?) in everyday-life/ situations: 2+1/1+1/2+1/1+1/1+1/4+1/1+1/1+1/6+1....?


Physics:

What are all elementary-particles/all the ways energy can be stored or exist?

When is light created? (all) - and

When/how are electrons excited? any other particle that can be exited? What are particles & constellations (e.g. quark combis) that can exist but are not ---

What are all quantum states that exist? how are they different? how can they be connected/energy transformed?

Is this connected to the geometrical form and amount of dimensions that exist?

-> what are all the dimensions (motives) i want to express myself into, having every action possible at hand, to be fulfilled?

Is this physics and mathematics encompassed into the indistinctable freedoms in choices we have?

Could we be representable in a process that transforms from one particle to another, (embedding all & being all in one at the same time)?

What specific orders exist in physics? e.g. spin up or down; decay, transformations and how can they be connected (value-wise)?

Do bosons (force-carriers/transmitters) only have energy in their state or minimal energy in other states?

How much work & resistance does every living thing have to take (for each motive)?

What is everything that is work?

What happens when more or less work is done? physics-comparable example,being top quark-energy-value/above higgs-field-value, more energy than "relative-boundary-"system"".

When does symmetry matter? Do all rational symmetries form matter? What symmetries are possible? /What equivalents to symmetries exist, comparable to quantum states?


Does proton decay exist (if electron decay does not)? what happens to quarks that cannot exist alone?

-> will we automatically switch into a balanced state with enough time/freedom? (change state from being unhappy to neutral/net-positive because of asymetrie/positive ground-energy -> philosophical implication: )


What is the probability (or requirements) that if you concentrate energy at a point, mass-particles form according to e=mc²?



Mathematics: -> is this the point when Riemann-zeta-function leaves savetystrip? ( is it realistic/"reachable" in physics, does it end then or continues after and does is transforms then, leaving the plain or has it never been only in the plain?)



"Why" neutron decay into anti part?  neutron -> electron+proton+antineutrino

comparable to blue + red -> magenta instead of not green?

-> Philosophical implications

When is symmetry broken and when is broken symmetry valued positive and when negative? and/or when neutral?


In which system is the fine structure constant an integer? Is there one?



Which circumstances do i consider being part of "this is, therefor i am able to congruent to the happenings"?


Why/when ringing in ears?

Neuer Text

Ich will fortlaufend weitergehen können

ich möchte ein innerstes recht beibehalten können, welches mich vorantreibt.

ich kann mit der größt möglichen kraft kollidieren, verschmelzen, übergehen, mich auflösen

und doch immer wieder meinen fortlaufenden kern wiederfinden.


auch wenn mir in keinem spiegel gezeigt wird welches gewicht ich trage

wenn es für jeden scheint als trage ich kein gewicht,

egal ob ich gedreht bin,

so ich weiß ich dass ich mich bewege,

und nicht entgültig begründet werden werde.


ich gehe immer weiter, lerne über alle möglichen gesetze,

doch finde ich nie einen zusammenhang zwischen allem,

ich finde kategorien, wobei diese immer wieder verschwimmen,

sie so klar sind, dass nichts übrig bleibt zu tun


und doch immer ein rest übrig bleibt.

vielleicht stimmt es, vielleicht nicht.

und trotzdem muss ich weiter gehen, weil im innersten die richtige entscheidung getroffen wurde und immer wieder getroffen wird.


ich werde viele falsche entscheidungen treffen, welche das gegenteil andeuten,

und ich werde ohne diese falschen gründe handeln

und mich richten.


Ich habe drei persönlichkeitstests gemacht und es kam architekt, advokat und kommandeur für mich raus, welche sich für mich als die besten ergebnisse ergeben haben. wobei kommandeur mehr der rationalist ist und advokat mehr der realist.

ich will gewicht tragen, und scheinbar ein gewicht unsichtbar werden lassen.


> It can be lonely at the top. As one of the rarest personality types – and one of the most capable – Architects (INTJs) know this all too well. Rational and quick-witted, Architects may struggle to find people who can keep up with their nonstop analysis of everything around them.


These personalities can be both the boldest of dreamers and the bitterest of pessimists. Architects believe that, through willpower and intelligence, they can achieve even the most challenging of goals. But they may be cynical about human nature more generally, assuming that most people are lazy, unimaginative, or simply doomed to mediocrity.


> At times, Advocates may focus so intently on their ideals that they don’t take care of themselves. Advocates may feel that they aren’t allowed to rest until they’ve achieved their unique vision of success, but this mindset can lead to stress and burnout. If this happens, people with this personality type may find themselves feeling uncharacteristically ill-tempered.


Advocates might find themselves feeling especially stressed in the face of conflict and criticism. These personalities tend to act with the best of intentions, and it can frustrate them when others don’t appreciate this. At times, even constructive criticism may feel deeply personal or hurtful to Advocates.


A Personal Mission

Many Advocates feel compelled to find a mission for their lives. When they encounter inequity or unfairness, they tend to think, “How can I fix this?” They are well-suited to support a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. Advocates just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves too.


> If there’s anything Commanders love, it’s a good challenge, big or small, and they firmly believe that given enough time and resources, they can achieve any goal. This quality makes people with the Commander personality type brilliant entrepreneurs, and their ability to think strategically and hold a long-term focus while executing each step of their plans with determination and precision makes them powerful business leaders. This determination is often a self-fulfilling prophecy, as Commanders push their goals through with sheer willpower where others might give up and move on, and their Extraverted (E) nature means they are likely to push everyone else right along with them, achieving spectacular results in the process.


Physik:

ein unerklärbares geheimnis wäre das tragen von dunkler materie.

vielleicht kann ich sie irgendwann erklären, jedoch werde ich immer etwas aberkennen, was es nicht kann.

vielleicht stellt sich heraus dass es eine viel größere masse geben könnte und ich ein körnchen im ganzen bin,

doch so kann ich dieses körnchen tragen.

welches absolut groß sein kann.


ich trage ein gewicht ob ich alleine bin oder nicht.

oder trage ich keins?


ich glaube doch, aber es ist nicht sehr groß wenn man sich dran gewöhnt. aber unveränderliche gewöhnung halten ist anstrengend und wahrscheinlich nicht wünschenswert und real.


ich sollte mehr darauf vertrauen, dass alle möglichkeiten des universums reichen um dieses rätsel zu lösen,

wenigstens mit parallelwelten und nicht gefüllten Lücken.

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